Gone…


I’ve tried… in shadows, and in light…

 In waking,

and in promises of sleep-filled nights.

I’ve tried….and I’ve wondered..

 who won?

Paying prizes for things unexpected,

Somehow my worlds’ been infected…

Made your world….

But somehow you’ve left me neglected…

And I tried…. And I cried….

All this darkness that I’ve tried to hide…

Without you…

without the faintest bit of you inside…

 

Nothing’s the same love… ever changing this… fragmented …Liquid.. solid. Try love; scoop these ever changing bit of me… make me whole…let me live a little….  And maybe, just maybe for just a bit, I’d forget all the had-beens… forget how you made me unaccustomed to this loneliness… maybe I will learn to cope… soon…after I wish I could wipe the memory of all my yesterdays. Maybe tomorrow I’d wake up, and forget the way your fingers grazed the skin on my face….. forget how I knew those nerve-endings wanted more that your fingers could contain… every heavy second, dying a wailing death… long.. painful…unrelenting…giving me less and less to live with… Maybe tomorrow… tomorrow I’ll learn to forget how your voice, and my memory of it, is enough to weaken me, crumble me, enough to have me fall on my knees…

But now I must wear my mask and hide; and watch as your silence sets fire to my insides…telling me all the love you ever felt must die…and I find the tragedy of all our magic in avalanches of words and ellipses… holding meanings for none but you and I…

 

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