Listen…


 

 

 

Listen love… as I speak for all we’ve tried to forget.

Sometimes, my insanity is unrestrained… dancing; leaping; much like I did into your arms; wanting nothing more than just to be held… But that was another lifetime, not this. And now the rest of my days are spent restraining… Lest I burst at the seams…. all this love… too much love…

I walk on egg shells. Gingerly…Unaccustomed… Unwilling… This is new. The kind of newness that calls for fear… I choose the wrong words… say the wrong things… words and letters aren’t friends…  They mock me… defiantly…as if to tell me, all this space and time were my doing… and my lack of finesse, but a small price to pay. I am encumbered… angry even…  And to think… just this morning I had prayed. Thanking all the powers that be… for you.. and for all of our days. But today hasn’t been my day.

Hasn’t been my day to tell you how sometimes what I want you to know, are things I’m afraid will turn you away.. Somehow further away… you see love, words don’t just do the talking… they’ve shaped our story…together; and apart… perhaps it’s all this absence… it’s made me speak in tongues you don’t understand…  I don’t understand… and then swiftly… new pain steals the day. From me. And from you. Always from you.

Today  I’m broken… but perhaps tomorrow… when in honor of all my eagerness, you’ll quietly pretend to forget… I shall whisper… for forgiveness… for reconciliation…  and for just one more day in shade…

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